i never thought i’d write the words “deeply evil carpet” but. seriously. what a deeply evil carpet that is.
And what you should do is to put this over an actual trap, like a hole in the floor so people will be like “Oh ha ha ha that’s soooo funny, it’s a rug!” And then fall through it.
I cant finish cleaning my room because I can’t organize my desk because I haven’t organized my vanity because I cant organize my vanity because I haven’t organized my closet drawers because I cant organize my closet drawers until I organize my nightstand and I cant do that until I GET A NIGHTSTAND because the space between my really heavy bookshelf full of books and the space between my bed is abnormally narrow BUT TONIGHT WHILE I WAS AT ROSS I found the perfect nightstand so now I can go home and put all the stuff thats supposed to go on and under my nightstand on and under my nightstand and then I can organize the space next to my bed, then I can organize the closet drawers, then im at another impasse because I still need the proper vanity organizational materials; but we have made some achievements tonight boys
if i have a daughter im going to name her lizard and then she’ll get the nickname liz and everyone will be like “oh is it short for elizabeth?” and she will have to say “no my name is lizard”
where is my morally grey villain that pushes me against a wall and threatens me with a knife looking me in the eyes after their eyes lingered on my lips for just a split second?
We didn’t have a word for our, as you guys call, gay/lesbian people. So we coined that word as an umbrella for all our tribes. We never said, “Well, you’re transgender. You’re bisexual. You’re lesbian.” We never knew those terms. Those are all from Western culture, you know, LGBTQ and all that. So on some level, it’s about getting rid of labels. Those terms were forced upon us.
Learning a language that doesn’t use the same writing system as your native one is so fun because they change the font and you’re doomed
I had a penpal from Greece in high school. She had the neatest handwriting ever. She taught me a bunch of basic stuff, and it got to the point that we’d write our letters almost exclusively in Greek (a big deal, as this was before Google Translate was even a thing).
Cut to junior year of college. I took Classical Greek as part of my degree, and I was feeling like I had a leg up over my classmates, whose Greek handwriting looked like kindergarten chicken scratch, while mine was smooth and quick. I turned in my first assignment feeling pretty damn proud of myself.
About three assignments later, my professor pulled me aside with the goofiest look on his face…
“I appreciate the effort, but…”
You remember that phase I think all little girls go through in middle school/junior high? Where we have swirly tails on our G’s or our Y’s get all swoopy, or we dot all our I’s with little hearts?
Yeah…
Turns out, all the perfect little flourishes I’d been putting on my letters were not, in fact, part of the letters at all. My penpal had just still been in that phase when she taught me the alphabet!
some examples of printed vs. handwritten, and handwritten variability
“May I please have your undivided attention” no I have ADHD you may have a ¼ piece at best
#bitch my attention is always divided #if you want a larger piece of attention than that you’ll have to fight for it with the closest available audible whirring ventilation fan
If I do NOT divide my attention in a way that my brain accepts as legal, you will get NONE of my attention because said brain will be too busy devoting ALL of my attention to how much it is making my bones vibrate inside my flesh to try to give you my undivided attention.
‘may i have your undivided attention’ oh im sorry you want the same brain that devotes itself to knowing the maximum amount of things in the entire universe, which is by the way an area about 93 billion light years across, you want that brain to focus entirely on you. a dude who is about two meters tall and extremely dissectable. that brain. that brain that is usually blowing most of its calorie allotment on thinking about astrophysics and history and dinosaurs and butterfly migrations and fantasy novels and sailing ships and climate collapse and gay sex and art projects and what’s for dinner and only after all that is it fit to approximate something like a normal human conversation, and usually fucks it up because it’s still thinking just a little bit about gay sex and dinosaurs. that is the brain you want to be interested in only you for awhile.
because now i’m wondering what your skull looks like.
I had a dream last night that tumblr came up with a pride flag for closeted gays and it was just a light blue flag with a shrimp on it. People would also wear shrimp pins on their lapels for some Reason???
and the vegan gays started Discourse because shrimp deserved more respect
Wth that’s brilliant
like this?
closeted queers, you now have a discreet pride flag. wreak havoc.
